Christmas is different when you're an adult. I don't know why, exactly. Can't put my finger on it. It just is. Just like everything is different when you reach adulthood.
Childhood is, of course, usually a happier time. Perhaps it's because everything is still so new, the world seems full of mystery and possibilities.
My Christmas experiences of late have not varied all that greatly - at least, that is, in relation to the actual holiday season. Circumstances might change, of course, but that has nothing to do with Christmas season itself. It's just a coincidence that circumstances may present themselves around the holidays. But the holiday season itself, the ritual of the holidays that we all seem to partake in? Well, that pretty much remains the same from year to year, doesn't it?
There are advertisements, of course. Usually they begin before Thanksgiving, but most try to be a little more subtle. Not always, though. When I was younger, I worked in a retail store and, I swear this is the truth, they started putting up Christmas stuff in August! I couldn't believe it. It was in the middle of a heat wave, probably closing in on 100 degrees outside, and yet inside, there were images of Santa Claus and reindeer and snow. It was utterly ridiculous.
Anyway, all of those advertisements that have become such a holiday tradition are trying to get you to participate in another holiday tradition - shopping. Some of us are not at all fazed by that. Others? Well, it can be quite daunting. Especially the idea of getting the right gift for people, especially when some people seem impossible to shop for. My mom is like that. I never know what to get her. Trying to come up with a gift idea can be hard. I always admired my brother's creativity with gift giving. He seems to always come up with some good ideas.
Then, there are also other factors to consider. How much should you spend on this person, or on that? What shows creativity, and that you put some thought into a gift?
That's not it, of course. There's decorating. Putting the tree up. Once the actual holiday gets closer, you have to make plans, and that usually means spending time with family for most people. That in and of itself can be quite stressful.
No wonder some people approach the holiday with trepidation, and view it as a stressful time. Quite understandable.
I experienced some of that trademark holiday stress myself yesterday. Much like most years, I got off to an early start with my Christmas shopping. Much like most years as well, I let a lot of time elapse before I really took holiday shopping seriously again - all the way to Christmas Eve in this case, which is actually rare for me. Perhaps I get overconfident with the early good start, and neglect following through. But it always seems like I should have far more time to figure these things out than there actually ends up being. You might think I'd get used to the time racing by now, in my thirty-eight years. Apparently, you'd be wrong.
Shopping on Christmas Eve is one of the best ways to see for yourself why so many people can feel stressed out during the holiday season. Traffic everywhere, people rushing form place to place, doing their best to get last minute gifts, and the crowded stores go from unusually extended hours, to closing very early. You might even end up cursing your own stupidity for not getting an earlier start in the day, such as I found myself doing yesterday.
Still, there can be magical moments. Little things that take on a life of their own, and remind you of that old magic that you once felt way back when you were the child, and adults would ask you what you would want. Back then, Christmas probably mostly meant the gifts that you would get, and I don't think I need to tell anyone that kids can wonder about those gifts endlessly, imagining just how wonderful it will be when they get all of those really cool toys that they seem to expect.
My brother wanted to bring my son and I along, to pick up a present for my son - a new bike. We went to Toys 'R Us, which my son feels is like a magic kingdom. He pointed out a train set that he really seemed to like, but we passed by that quickly, and he forgot about it equally quickly, it seemed. He wanted to visit the entire store, but I tried to get him to focus on the bikes.
When we finally got to the bike section, he almost seemed disappointed. But it did not take long for him to get excited about the idea. Once he had one picked out, he seemed to fall in love with it. He rode around in circles inside of the store, and wanted to ride it up to the cash register (we couldn't allow him to do that), and then to ride the bike out the store, and a bit in the parking lot (which we did allow him to do).
He seemed so happy, so completely absorbed by the magic of getting that new bicycle, that everything else disappeared. When was the last time you felt that way about anything? I try to remember, but can't, really. It's been so long, and adulthood kind of takes that away from you.
But seeing a happy child like my son yesterday? That can be the quickest, and best, reminder. Seeing him suddenly so happy is truly something special.
For quite some time now, he's been talking about Santa, and all the gifts that he's going to bring. He has been waiting with anticipation for all those gifts that he expects under the Christmas tree, and has been sure to drop plenty of hints about what things he might like.
We enjoyed some time as a family together last night after the holiday shopping, just as the snow began to fall.
A White Christmas (well, Christmas Eve, technically, but some of the white stuff should last thought to today, right?). Imagine that!
The driving was treacherous, trying to navigate the inclimate roads with a lot of people on the road. That's never pleasant. But I got him there, and made sure he went to bed relatively early, because he understands that Santa was waiting for him, and all good children, to go to sleep well before midnight, before he would feel comfortable stopping by to drop off his presents.
The snow was actually quite pleasant. I had to go off to work, and the road conditions slowed things down, truth be told. But once I got to the highways, the roads were fairly clear, mostly just wet. So, I was able to forget just how stressful that can make traveling during this time of the year, and just thought about how nice it was to be blessed with a White Christmas!
At this moment, I would also like to say just how blessed I feel right now. It is not a Merry Christmas all over the world. There is a lot of suffering, a lot of heartbreak all around the world. Just imagine what Christmas must look like in Newtown right now. So, this is a time to spend with loved ones, and to appreciate those loved ones in your life. My own Christmas day will be split in two, as I will have Christmas lunch in the early afternoon with my family (including my beautiful son), and then spending the evening at friends of my girlfriend, at a place that I had a later Thanksgiving dinner just a few weeks ago. So, I will spend time with loved ones, and try not to lose sight (as it is so easy to do) of just how much I have been blessed with and to be appreciative of on this holiday.
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