I got the chance to visit Princeton yesterday, a place that I had not really been to prior in well over ten years. Funny thing was, I used to go to college relatively nearby, at Rutgers, and there was some kind of an agreement between the two universities that students of each could utilize the resources of the other, particularly the libraries. It was an amazing opportunity to visit one of the finest and most reputable schools in the country, and yet, admittedly, I never did. Chickened out, feeling rather intimidated by the reputation of this elite school that preceded it. It is not one of my life's major regrets never to have actually gone and used the libraries, but there was a bit of regret at the time, and even now, it feels like a wasted opportunity.
Still, the campus is nice to visit, and it was even more beautiful than I remember it being. It really looks the way an old English University town might look, or at least the way that I always imagined one looking, more or less. There is Nassau Hall behind curved gates, and open spaces. Towers that look almost medieval, and everywhere you go, stone buildings. There are beautiful churches and other buildings with stained glass windows. Everything has a stuffy, scholarly air, but in a good way. About the only thing that gave away the modern times would be the greed and red lights of the card access system to gain access into these buildings. It did not escape my notice that a lot of the students actually were living in dorms that occupied more than a few of these wonderful, stone made structures. Such privilege! Lucky bastards!
When you visit an old college campus, there is always an air of timlessness to the place. Life seems to stand still here, at least from an outside perspective. This is because colleges offer more continuity than anything else. Often times, they physically look older, unchanged. Buildings are often made of stone, there are wide open, green spaces. Students traverse the grounds, changing in time but always with the same purpose of getting through the next exam, researching to prepare the next big paper, busily going about from place to place, trying to race to get to their next lass on time, or going to the library to do some research.
Yes, the world can seem to stand still at college campuses. Oh, there is drama, I'm sure. But unless you're actually involved, the dramas that relatively young hormones can provide seem a bit distant and still trivial, compared to the grandeur of the college campus, which gain, often remains largely unchanged. The campus is bigger than that.
Yet, there are changes. Perhaps a prestigious institutions might get a card access system into certain buildings. Surely, the libraries have people doing their work online, and every now and then taking a break from their work to go online for more fun things, like checking one's Facebook account or emails. Certainly, the prices of attending (let alone actually residing in) one of these places reflects the changed times.
Still, the campus lies quietly before you, the same as it did the day before, the weeks and months before, the years, decades, and often times, even centuries before. Still looking largely as it always has looked. Seasons change, and the campus might seem to be different during each, looking quite unique when the spring buds come out on the first truly warm day of the year, then under the sweltering summer sun, the trees providing a small respite for the weary, then seeing these same trees change colors on brisk autumn afternoons, when you need to pull that jacket on a little more to stay warm, and finally, when the campus is blanketed underneath a layer of snow.
The town of Princeton is quite lovely, as well. It has a house directly across Nassau Street form the campus, facing Nassau Hall, that looks like a Tudor-era house. The downtown is filled with lovely little coffee shops and places to dine (most of them quite pricey). There are other little places like that, and the town itself is a compliment to the university that obviously dominates it. The whole thing lends this place an Old World kind of feel to it. It makes for an enjoyable leisurely stroll through the town and campus, especially when the weather is accommodating. The campus itself felt a bit like I was walking through the “Dead Poet's Society”.
I will certainly admit that the campus (not to mention the outlying town itself) of Princeton is more attractive and compares favorably to Rutgers, although I always did like Rutgers campus, and enjoy it's history, to boot.
I guess what I am trying to say, although it is taking me a long time to actually get to the point here and just say it, is that I admittedly miss college. I miss the challenge of it, the feel of learning, the distinguished air of such places, the availability of resources, the stimulating discussions and environment, the research, and even the challenge of putting together a paper by a certain deadline and watching it slowly but surely take form, adding things that will hopefully add depth and insight, always hoping that the professor picks up on the subtlety of the points being made and the eloquence with which they are being made. I even miss studying (often, admittedly, cramming) for exams. I miss getting grades back that make me feel like I did well. Sometimes, you just need things like that in life, and I have missed it ever since graduating in 2001.
Of course, when I graduated, it was with the expectations of going back. But quite a few people, particularly professors, urged me strongly not to leave, but to continue on, to keep going to school, to go the Master's without break. I thought it would be a great idea, but it seemed that I should take a year off in order to save up money, and then go back more prepared. I have not been back since, and really have come to regret that. I wish that I had had more direction back then, wish that I had joined the Accelerated Master's program that was available to me at reduced rates and taken less time, wish that I had heeded their advice. I have intellectual abilities, as well as curiosities and overall thirst yet to be slaked, yet I enjoyed the discipline that I had back then of getting the academic job done. Now, it feels less disciplined, and more like a mishmash of things. A lack of focus, maybe. Don't get me wrong, I am very appreciative for the intellectual abilities that I feel I do have, and was blessed with. It was just that in school, it seemed to belong more, I was in my element, on some levels. These days, it seems I am more of an oddity, than anything else.
Yet, I still enjoy going through these old campuses, at least (I was able to pass through Rutgers, a slight detour on my way down to Princeton). I remember those days well, and still feel tremendously thrilled and privileged to have had my time at this institution, and to have gotten as much out of it as I indeed got.
There is a bit of a thrill when I walk through such campuses (and I have walked through a number of college campuses in my years, in many countries and through two different campuses), yet there is always that same fascination to be able to locate where this or that is, or what that gigantic building looming in the horizon is. It is enjoyable to watch the students walk by, eager in their chatter -and there were quite a few Princeton students out there, presumably, who were walking and acting quite normally, and not giving their genius away instantly. Princeton is a monied place of privilege, of course, and I was never in that league – that Ivy League. Still, I very much enjoyed the opportunity to walk on the campus and take in the sights once again. It's not something I can do too often, being a bit far from home for me to make anything like regular trips. Hell, even Rutgers, which I actually did attend, is a bit far for me to take regular trips, and yesterday, just passing through, was the first time that I had been on my old campus in almost a full year. Perhaps, when I visit the campuses of institutions of higher learning these days, a little part of me almost feels at home (and moreover, probably always will), and maybe that is why I enjoy visiting them as much as I do. And Princeton is a real gem!
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