It hardly feels like it could have been two full decades since this event. I guess I've reached the age when the amount of time that has passed since memories that still seem fresh just seems shocking. The spring of 1994 was a good one for me. I would get my first job (minimum wage). I would finish the spring semester knowing that my GPA still wasn't quite that bad (yet), and I had assumed the Presidency for the Environmental Club for my local college - Bergen Community College (BCC).
The band that I was most excited about around that time was actually Pearl Jam, and in early April, I was presented a few opportunities to go and see them. With a few other people, I hung out all night on a New York City curb, waiting to get stand by tickets for Saturday Night Live, when the band would make an appearance. But we would not get in, any of us. Not one stand by ticket holder gained entrance on that night. Then, I tried to get tickets to see their one major area concert, at the Paramount Theater of Madison Square Garden, but still no go. Then, finally, there was one last opportunity to get tickets to see them at the Boston Garden. But one person after the other dropped out, and when it came to just two of us left, the other guy felt that they were just too expensive ($125), and opted out, much to my disappointment. It would be another two and a half years before I would finally get to see them in concert, but it would be worth the wait!
That said, I was looking forward to a phenomenal lineup of concerts that I was going to go see that summer. Having only been to one concert previously, it seemed almost overwhelming - Pink Floyd at Yankees Stadium, Rolling Stones at Giants Stadium, Billy Joel/Elton John at Giants Stadium, and Metallica with Danzig and Suicidal Tendencies at the Orange County Fairgrounds (that one ended up being a pretty terrible quality concert, actually, totally unlike when I had seen Metallica a couple of years back, in 1992, with GNR)..
Yes, there were a lot of great things in that spring of 1994. But I remember the death of Kurt Cobain as being kind of a dark cloud that hovered over it all. Two years earlier, I had gone through a very dark period in my life, and by 1994, suicide was still a sore topic for me. I had known a high school classmate who committed suicide, and it had shaken me. I could not understand how a man who seemed on top of the world, like Kurt Cobain, could just take his own life like that.
In the beginning of the Seattle explosion, I was actually a far bigger Nirvana fan than I was a Pearl Jam fan, although that would eventually change in time. I can still remember hearing "Smells Like Teen Spirit", and being blown away. Speaking of Saturday Night Live, which i mentioned earlier, I remember Nirvana's very memorable appearance on the show back in 1992, and just feeling overwhelmed by it. Even my father was impressed, particularly by Kurt Cobain. You just knew that those guys were really good, right away.
Now, twenty years since the worst possible news relating to Nirvana and Kurt Cobain. I never got to see them in concert (I did see what they call "Sirvana" - the former members of Nirvana with Sir Paul McCartney for the 12/12/12 Sandy Benefit Concert a couple of years ago, though), and I wished that the opportunity would have presented itself. But alas, some things are not meant to be.
He had an obvious and immediate impact on rock, as well as on popular culture overall, and was, and will continue to be, missed. It is easy to see why, too. There was an anger in his music, and in the abstract, seemingly rather random lyrics. A discontent with self, and with life, that I personally could identify with. There was also a raw energy, and a feeling of (cliche as this might sound) danger, that just was not evident in some of the other popular music that had existed beforehand, such as Madonna or Michael Jackson. Kurt Cobain's Nirvana brought a level of unpredictability again to popular music, and it was the beginning of a real explosion that would fundamentally change the popular music scene.
It would have been great to see how the band would have matured, if they even would have managed to either stay together, or somehow get back together. If not, it would have been interesting to see what Kurt Cobain would have done in a possible solo career.
In any case, I wanted to recognize this solemn anniversary today, and figured one of the best ways to do it would be to republish a book review of a biography of Kurt Cobain that I read maybe around one year ago.
Here is it:
Before my book review, though, I thought it would be fitting to share the small piece on it from the History Channel website, which is in light blue, and which you can find, as well as a lot of other fascinating information, by clicking on the link below:
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history
Apr 5, 1994: Kurt Cobain commits suicide
Modern rock icon Kurt Cobain commits suicide on this day in 1994. His body was discovered inside his home in Seattle, Washington, three days later by Gary Smith, an electrician, who was installing a security system in the suburban house. Despite indications that Cobain, the lead singer of Nirvana, killed himself, several skeptics questioned the circumstances of his death and pinned responsibility on his wife, Courtney Love.
At least two books, including one penned by Love's estranged father, and a nationally released documentary, Kurt & Courtney, openly expressed doubt that Cobain killed himself and all but accused Love of having her husband killed. Her volatile reputation and healthy list of enemies helped to circulate the rumors. However, police have concluded that Cobain's death was the result of suicide.
Cobain's downward spiral began taking shape in Italy the previous month. He went into a coma and nearly died after mixing champagne and the drug Rohypnol. The public was led to believe that the coma was induced by an accidental heroin overdose, since Cobain had a well-known problem with the drug.
Back at home in Seattle, the police were called to Cobain and Love's home when he again threatened to kill himself. Although Cobain stated in a 1991 interview that he didn't believe in guns, the officers confiscated four from his possession. As his wife and friends watched him spin out of control, they attempted to intervene. Cobain mostly ignored their concerns but reluctantly checked into a rehabilitation clinic in Los Angeles at the end of March.
On March 30, Cobain walked away from the clinic without informing his family or friends. For the next few days, Love could not locate him and decided to hire a private detective on April 3. The detective made contact with Cobain the following day in Seattle, but Cobain refused to return to Los Angeles. In the meantime, Cobain had convinced a friend to buy him a gun, claiming he needed it for protection. On April 5, Cobain returned home. He had ingested enough Valium and heroin to reach near-fatal levels. In the apartment above the garage was Cobain's sloppily written suicide note, quoting Neil Young's lyric that it is "better to burn out than to fade away."
Taken from: "Book Review: Heavier Than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain", published on The Charbor Chronicles, February 25, 2013:
Image by: www.dooyoo.co.uk
Let me just say, right off the bat, that this is a very well written and concise book! I don't know how Charles Cross got his hands on some of this information, but he puts it to good use. As you read this very vivid biography, it comes alive almost to the point that you feel you are witnessing Kurt Cobain living through these times, from his childhood through the teen years, and into adulthood, before and after he catapulted to stardom. You almost feel that you are getting to know the real person, rather than the hyped rock star.
I always knew that Kurt Cobain had been tormented, although at some distant level. You can see it in his works, in his words. Even in his facial expressions during some musical videos.
But Charles Cross really gives a great diagnosis of the life and times of Kurt Cobain, and those around him. This book is extensively researched. So well researched, frankly, that I don't even know how he managed to get his hands on some of the stuff that was used in writing this.
The effect is that you feel almost like you are there, so vivid is the description. That is a sign of very strong writing skills.
You really get a feel for his native town of Aberdeen, Washington, and the happy childhood that too soon yielded to family tensions and fights. You can relate to the rebellious and angry young teenager who dreams of being a rock star, and you can sympathize with his nervousness before playing his first ever gig at what amounted to a frat party. You watch Nirvana begin to take form, as they struggle to find their identity and make a name for themselves, even spending a night on a highway median at one point, and then you witness their rise to superstardom with a bang. You also see Cobain's self-destructive tendencies clash with the excesses of success, and as the book goes along, you bear witness to what proved to be the inevitable crash from the heights.
Somehow or other, all of this is done while making you feel like it is coming to life, rather than history. You begin to pull for Cobain, and it seems that there are so many choices out there that he could have made to change the outcome. Yet, the past cannot be undone, and although Cross has been criticized for taking liberties with the final aspects of Cobain's life (that being his suicide), he really makes it pack an emotional punch. Even though he was completely alone and feeling the weight of an all too familiar isolation, Cross almost seems to take you there, to witness a tragedy unfold, as a young, heartthrob rock star who seemed to many to have everything hits rock bottom, and takes his own life, leaving behind a beautiful young daughter who will have to live on with such a legacy that her father left her.
Cross has also been criticized for not talking to Dave Grohl, the longest lasting drummer that Nirvana ever had, as well as the one who was with them during the salad days, and obviously, the most famous drummer for Nirvana, and perhaps the most famous surviving former member of the band, period. He has also been criticized for siding too closely with Courtney Love. I cannot, or at least will not, speak to that at present. What I will say is that you are not likely to find a more thorough, or vivid, account of Kurt Cobain's life, or a history of Nirvana, that is as thorough and detailed as this.
There were a lot of contradictions in regards to Kurt Cobain, and Cross does a very good job in highlighting some of these. Cobain seemed to embody paradox, at times. For example, he seemed to suggest that he despised popularity, yet he complained when his videos were not played on MTV as much as he wanted them to be played. Also, he had a great deal of empathy and a great conscience. Yet, at times, his actions defied logic, as with his first sexual experience (which seemed abusive at best, and could almost have been defined as borderline rape), or his leaving a beautiful young daughter with a lifetime to cope with her own father's suicide, at an age when she was yet too young to understand what happened.
One thing I was surprised by was the lack of mention to Kurt Cobain's animosity towards fellow Seattle band Pearl Jam, although Cross does detail the feud that existed between Nirvana and Guns N' Roses. But Cobain's constant mention of Pearl Jam at the time that they were rising I think illustrates some of the contradictions in Cobain's character.
But Cross does get a lot right in this book. A hell of a lot, actually! There are some descriptions of the shows that are spot on, and you can almost feel the success (or the lack thereof, depending on the situation) involved. What makes it even more fascinating is the background story leading up to, and immediately after, shows. For example, you gain a far better understanding of the legendary MTV Unplugged, and the circumstances surrounding it. If you're like me, you'll never watch or listen to that show, or Nirvana in general, the same way again!
All in all, an excellent read! Informative and everything you could want out of a book like this, and I highly recommend it!
I always knew that Kurt Cobain had been tormented, although at some distant level. You can see it in his works, in his words. Even in his facial expressions during some musical videos.
But Charles Cross really gives a great diagnosis of the life and times of Kurt Cobain, and those around him. This book is extensively researched. So well researched, frankly, that I don't even know how he managed to get his hands on some of the stuff that was used in writing this.
The effect is that you feel almost like you are there, so vivid is the description. That is a sign of very strong writing skills.
You really get a feel for his native town of Aberdeen, Washington, and the happy childhood that too soon yielded to family tensions and fights. You can relate to the rebellious and angry young teenager who dreams of being a rock star, and you can sympathize with his nervousness before playing his first ever gig at what amounted to a frat party. You watch Nirvana begin to take form, as they struggle to find their identity and make a name for themselves, even spending a night on a highway median at one point, and then you witness their rise to superstardom with a bang. You also see Cobain's self-destructive tendencies clash with the excesses of success, and as the book goes along, you bear witness to what proved to be the inevitable crash from the heights.
Somehow or other, all of this is done while making you feel like it is coming to life, rather than history. You begin to pull for Cobain, and it seems that there are so many choices out there that he could have made to change the outcome. Yet, the past cannot be undone, and although Cross has been criticized for taking liberties with the final aspects of Cobain's life (that being his suicide), he really makes it pack an emotional punch. Even though he was completely alone and feeling the weight of an all too familiar isolation, Cross almost seems to take you there, to witness a tragedy unfold, as a young, heartthrob rock star who seemed to many to have everything hits rock bottom, and takes his own life, leaving behind a beautiful young daughter who will have to live on with such a legacy that her father left her.
Cross has also been criticized for not talking to Dave Grohl, the longest lasting drummer that Nirvana ever had, as well as the one who was with them during the salad days, and obviously, the most famous drummer for Nirvana, and perhaps the most famous surviving former member of the band, period. He has also been criticized for siding too closely with Courtney Love. I cannot, or at least will not, speak to that at present. What I will say is that you are not likely to find a more thorough, or vivid, account of Kurt Cobain's life, or a history of Nirvana, that is as thorough and detailed as this.
There were a lot of contradictions in regards to Kurt Cobain, and Cross does a very good job in highlighting some of these. Cobain seemed to embody paradox, at times. For example, he seemed to suggest that he despised popularity, yet he complained when his videos were not played on MTV as much as he wanted them to be played. Also, he had a great deal of empathy and a great conscience. Yet, at times, his actions defied logic, as with his first sexual experience (which seemed abusive at best, and could almost have been defined as borderline rape), or his leaving a beautiful young daughter with a lifetime to cope with her own father's suicide, at an age when she was yet too young to understand what happened.
One thing I was surprised by was the lack of mention to Kurt Cobain's animosity towards fellow Seattle band Pearl Jam, although Cross does detail the feud that existed between Nirvana and Guns N' Roses. But Cobain's constant mention of Pearl Jam at the time that they were rising I think illustrates some of the contradictions in Cobain's character.
But Cross does get a lot right in this book. A hell of a lot, actually! There are some descriptions of the shows that are spot on, and you can almost feel the success (or the lack thereof, depending on the situation) involved. What makes it even more fascinating is the background story leading up to, and immediately after, shows. For example, you gain a far better understanding of the legendary MTV Unplugged, and the circumstances surrounding it. If you're like me, you'll never watch or listen to that show, or Nirvana in general, the same way again!
All in all, an excellent read! Informative and everything you could want out of a book like this, and I highly recommend it!
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