I was the first one to wake up, in the early morning hour, when the trace of the morning light is still weak, and hardly overpowering. Or, maybe it was going to be an overcast day again, and the light would remain weak, although surely not as weak as at that precise moment.
My sciatic nerves have been acting up lately, but the pain was not so intense this morning. There had been a bit of tossing and turning in the evening, when we both turned in, but that had not been like some of those terrible other times, when the level of pain was quite intense, and easily enough to prevent me from getting comfortable enough to actually sleep. Before I knew it, sleep had overtaken me. I awoke briefly some time after four in the morning, and had that short-lived fear, for that minute or so, that sleep would not find me again this night. Only it did, and the next time I awoke, it was just after six in the morning. The temptation to roll over and sleep some more was strong, and likely, I could have done it, too. But that would, of course, not be a good idea. Time to get up.
I looked over at her, and she is still battling the fatigue and sleepiness, as well. It is a battle that she appears to be losing. And I wonder how it is that she never uses an alarm clock, and still manages to oversleep less (even far less) than I do. It looks for a little while like she might oversleep, but I am up, and so is the dog. She will be up before too long. We snuggle a little bit, but if we remain in that position, one or both of us will be asleep before long.
It is time to get up. The pain in my leg is not a shooting pain, so much as it is a dull throb. Well, actually, it is a bit more amplified than a dull throb, but I nonetheless try to minimize the hold that this physical pain has had on me just lately, mostly in an attempt to feel better. I had a far more intense battle with sciatica four years ago, and that had been excruciating. I could not remain in the same position for very long at all. I could not stand for too long, and would have to sit down. Then, after sitting, I would have to get up. I could not lie down in the same position for too long, as well, which made sleeping difficult. As you can probably tell, this made life considerably more difficult and stressful than it should be, and it was not fun.
So, perhaps looking for any and every sign of a full recovery from the recent spat with problems with sciatica is natural, so there will not be a worry about it growing worse than it is. It is nowhere near what it felt like four years ago. But it is also far more troublesome than I normally feel, on an everyday level, and I just want it gone.
Getting up, the pain is not so bad, and I don't even have to limp to the bathroom.
When I go to the computer and sit down, the pain is a bit more apparent, but still not severe. I turn the computer on. It is slower than it normally is. Then, it tells me it is going on power save mode.
Damn it! What the hell?
I turn it back on. Repeat the process two more times, but it finally goes on, even if a little sluggish. I check Facebook, and then I check my email. Upon signing in, it asks me if I would like to upgrade to a newer, better application. I just did this, after it relentlessly asked me the same thing every single time I had to sign in. Accidentally, I might add, to. It was when I just wanted to get in my email, and probably did not have patience to go through the process of skirting around their alleged improvements. Now, they want me to scrap the old for the new once again, most likely to get me eventually to pay money for more storage space, or more conveniences, or whatever. Pay for services that were always free before, like they have done with water, and radio, and television. Those things used to be free of charge. But now? You have to pay for them.
It is almost a surprise that the internet is not the same way.
She has gotten up by this point, and makes oatmeal for both of us. Usually, I am on the computer by this point anyway. She will eat her oatmeal while listening to her radio, walk the dog, and then finish her makeup before leaving for work. In the meantime, I am working on the blog, or on other writing. It feels weird, somehow. She is getting ready for a day at work, and although we both work office jobs (two apiece, in fact), this always makes me feel like a lazy ass. It shouldn't, but it does, somehow. I mean, I work two jobs, and have for ten years, now. And I'm doing my best to raise a son, while dealing with so many other aspects of life's stress. And this is one of my day's off. This, and Friday night into Saturday. It is hardly a dream schedule, but it is nonetheless a far better one than what I used to have. I appreciate my days off, and like to try and mix the need to feel like I am doing something productive with the desire to relax and recharge my batteries. It is a need sometimes, isn't it? Why should I feel lazy? Yet, I do. There you have it.
This morning will be a little different. Her car was acting up, and we took it to Pep Boys, to get a diagnosis. She feels sad about this. Money is a problem, and surely, fixing the car is a big worry, because it might cost a lot of money, which is in short supply. Once again, she is talking about going back home to Poland, where she says life was simpler, easier. She did not have physical pains. Yes, she has them, too. Not the same ones, and perhaps not as severe (although who knows?), but she definitely has them. All part of the process of growing older. Such a joy!
In any case, I have to drive her to work and back today. No big deal, the drive is all of five minutes. I envy her such an easy commute. She could walk there in less time than it takes me to drive to my job, if she wanted to. Mine is hardly so close or stress-free.
I am about to put my shoes on. Shoes that she chose for me for the trip to Poland that we took last month. They are more like sandals, actually. They are so comfortable, that they made me almost forget my sneakers. Until recently, that is. We had heavy rains, and I rather foolishly wore them, and got them soaked. They did not dry easily, and they made my feet smell whenever I wore them. She urges me not to wear them. I tell her not only am I going to wear them, but when I return back home, I am going to walk all over the pillows, as well. At least her pillows. I will rub my feet against all of her beautiful clothes in the closets. I will even try on all of those lovely shoes, and make sure they smell.
She assures me she is going to beat my ass if I do any of those things. I secretly love when she says that to me. Not sure why, but I do. She seems to know it, too.
I drop her off, and the commute takes even less time then I thought. It might take five minutes to get there, five to come back, I had assumed. But the overall trip is probably less than ten minutes. Maybe a little over five minutes altogether. Before I know it, and before really getting into the NPR news, I pull back into the parking lot.
The day is facing me. It has just begun, and for now, the small slate is wiped clean. It won't stay that way, but the story of this day has, for now, yet to be told...
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