Yes, it has been a stressful week for me. Very stressful, even.
Perhaps, I could even say that last week was stressful. Or, perhaps, I can make it the last seven days, not a calendar week per se, but the span of a week's time that has passed.
Last week, Basia and I got in an argument, if that is what you can call it. A serious argument, or whatever it was. It was not looking good for us, for a while, there.
So that was one thing, and it was weighing on my mind for a while. Still is, on some level, although things have more or less improved enough to be back to normal, at least relatively speaking.
Then, it was time to enjoy the holiday weekend, or so I though. I mean, at least enjoy it as much as I could, although I work two jobs (for the last ten years), and in the last five or so years in particular, my weekends are actually the busiest time in my schedule. It used to be worse - even far worse! Things are looking up there, too. Again, that is on some level relative. Part of what Basia and I were arguing about is the time issue, because we both work two jobs, and so our schedules are very busy, and we do not spend nearly as much time together as we would normally like to. Plus, I work overnights, and that is also an issue for her.
But I digress.
In any case, with the holiday, I figured that things would be quiet with both jobs, for the most part. And, that proved to be the case, to boot. There was one incident right at the end of my weekend job on Sunday evening, but that did not appear to be too big a deal. As it turned out, I was wrong about that. But that is another story, and I will touch upon that (although not in too great a detail) a little later.
Before all of that, there was something that happened over the weekend that does warrant mentioning. I took my son to a barbecue this past weekend, and that was pretty cool. I really enjoyed it, although my son, who has been having some problems with socializing lately, had a considerably less fun time there. These people are really cool, and they set up games and activities for the kids to participate in. But Sebastien probably felt too old, and was in a grumpy mood. It was a struggle just to get him out from his self-imposed isolation on their balcony/porch thing.
Eventually, I got him to come by my side, and wanted to see if I could get him to socialize just a bit. There were some old friends of mine there, too. People that I had not seen in years and years, and so we did some talking. I mentioned, in some way or other, "my girlfriend".
Now, here's the thing: my wife and I are in the process of a divorce. Sebastien has heard references to my "girlfriend" a few times, and even reacted to it a couple of times. But not as vehemently as he did this past Saturday, during the barbecue.
It dawned on me that, while he seemed to know that daddy has a girlfriend, perhaps he did not, in fact, fully "know". He spun around after I said that, and said < You mean, your wife?"
In typical fashion after an awkward situation in public, I kind of laughed.
But I was not laughing on Monday evening, when I talked to Sebastien, with his mom there to help talk to him, to tell him, essentially and definitively, that mommy and daddy were getting something called a divorce. That daddy would not really be living there any longer. That none of this was his fault, and that we would continue to be his mommy and his daddy, and continue to work together for his best interests. That he is a blessing in both of our lives, and that we love him very much, and that would never change. Come what may, we will always be his mommy and daddy.
It was hard to gauge his reaction. There were tears for a little while, but for the most part, his response was minimal. Perhaps, this was even deliberate. I felt bad, and very concerned. We will see how he reacts, what his response is, over a longer duration - for the days and weeks to come, and even the coming months and, yes, even years.
This was weighing on my mind when I went to my regular overnight job on Monday night, and I was concerned throughout.
Then, I got a phone call, just before the end of the shift.
The "incident" that had occurred on Sunday evening was, in fact, a much bigger thing than I had originally thought it was. I was being called intro a meeting, where some fairly high ranking representatives from several companies were going to be present. They were very interested in what I had to say, and I probably do not have to tell you that it was not good news for me.
They had been flirting with the idea of getting rid of people. Six people, in particular. And, of course, the supervisor on duty that night. That would be me.
After the meeting, they took several of us into a side room to talk to us on an individual level. I was the first one that they wanted to talk to. They actually did most of the talking. Before I knew it, they told me that I was to be suspended for two days period, and I had to sign a form. A write up, in effect.
As I said, not good news.
They changed their mind a little bit afterwards, and told me that they actually probably wouldn't suspend me. That was good. But this incident still left a sour taste in everyone's mouth, not least of all mine.
Ah, well. Such is life, I guess, right? These things happen. I am strong, i think. It is nothing that will sink me permanently, or anything.
So, hopefully, all will turn out alright in the end. Basia assured me that she had a feeling everything would be okay.
Me, I was not so sure.
"Let's see what happens." I said.
I went. and I tried to conduct myself in the most professional manner possible, regarding an incident that started on my shift, and which just kept growing and growing in scope, until it actually involved a hell of a lot of people, on many shifts.
Not fun.
For that matter, having to deliver very bad (f not exactly recent) news to my son? Not much fun, either.
Relationship problems also tend not to be much fun.
Sometimes, life in general just isn't much fun.
But, we learn from everything, don't we? Life is a series of learning lesons, and I have had quite a week to reflect upon now.
Let's see what I can learn from it.
In the meantime, as some of my posts have been incomplete (jn some cases, glaringly so, even), I just wanted to point out that all of this may have contributed to that. Not that I am using this as a crutch, or anything. Just that we all have our good weeks and bad weeks, or even longer periods of time. Sometimes, we have a bad month, or a bad year.
It certainly was not my best hour, this past week. At least, it was not a particularly fun time. But it is what it is, as they say. I am thankful that it was not worse, and hopefully, will not last much longer, if at all.
And hopefully, my work in writing, and my blog entries here, wil not continue to suffer. Apologies if they have looked incomplete in the meantime.
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