Terror Behind the Walls - Eastern State Penitentiary, Philadelphia, PA

Yes, I went to "Terror Behind the Walls" at the Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia this past weekend.

This was something that I had heard about and wanted to do for years now, yet never quite got around to doing...until now. But I wanted to try it, because it really is a very cool idea and, plus, it is Halloween time. This is the first October in a long time where we have both Friday the 13th and Halloween, so this was an especially appropriate time, right?

So, how was it?

Well, it was everything that I expected it to be. No, I do not mean it was terrifying beyond anything that I experienced before, or that it was so incredible and exceeded expectations. No, it was predictable, it was everything pretty much exactly as you would expect it to be. 

Frankly, to me, it was a disappointment, made all the more disappointing because they ask too much money for what it is - a glorified and over-sized haunted house.

Yes, there are people (college aged and possibly high school aged kids all dressed up) who hide in dark corners and jump out at you. There are dark corridors and strobe lights, and everything is all decked out in the creepiest look possible. Everyone talks in their most sinister, wicked voices. Every now and then, you will walk somewhere, and there will be fake machine gun fire very near you, all in an effort to startle you.

And if you are a middle-aged man like me, you kind of just walk through it all, hoping that there is more, and knowing that there is not. It goes by surprisingly fast, and then your biggest fear is realized - you spent too much money on a disappointment. 

Now, of course, that is just it. I am a middle-aged man, and probably too old for this. I will say this, and should make it clear - there were a ton of young people there, either late teens or early twenties, and they were all very excited, eager, and in very good spirits. Plus, there were plenty of screams to be heard during the tour, although my own screams came internally afterwards, when I questioned what the hell I was doing with my life.

In the end, you get how much you want to get out of it,  based largely on how much you are willing to believe in. 

This is the stamp that I received, which looks like the Minotaur symbol. I was pulled aside later and buried alive (not beyond my neck), while the rest of my team searched for and, ultimately, found the bone that was my pass out of certain death.