Trump’s Attempt To Become a Born-Again Christian Fails After Jesus Turns Down Friend Request

The funniest satire site that I know of is The Onion. They really do a great job there with their spoof news articles, and I usually find something that puts a smile on my face.

Another great place to find some humorous spoof news - Trump and his supporters would surely angrily dismiss this as "fake news," not getting the joke - is the New Yorker magazine, specifically, Andy Borowitz articles. 

He has some very funny, amazing stuff, worthy itself of The Onion. But I think that The New Yorker is a bit more...prestigious, perhaps. Is that the word?

Anyway, I stumbled on this old, but still clearly relevant, "news" piece that I wish I had seen years ago, when it was first written. The idea of Donald Trump trying to become a "born again" and sending Jesus a friend request, only to be rebuked, is very funny stuff.

Here, according to Borowitz, are the publicly stated reasons for Jesus turning down Trump's friend request on Facebook:

Jesus, who has not generally been active on Facebook, made a rare appearance on the social network on Monday to announce His decision to ignore the presumptive Republican nominee’s request for a personal relationship with Him.  

In a brief post, Jesus offered the following explanation: “Just everything.”

Yup. That sounds about right. There really is nothing humble or truly Christian (or truly good in general, for that matter) about the man that Evangelical Christians chose, and have since doggedly stayed loyal to, as their great big hope for the present and future. This man more closely symbolizes their rot and decadence, rather than piety or ethics, or anything else that they loudly proclaim (often, paradoxically) to believe in. 

Trump has no friends in Jesus. In fact, despite his loyal support from the staunch (and let's face it: the too far gone) 30-35 percent who support this pathetic man no matter what he does, Trump has no real friends at all. That would just get in the way of Trump's obviously greatest love: for himself. 

Great stuff by Borowitz here!

Trump’s Bid to Become Born-Again Fails as Jesus Turns Down Friend Request by Andy Borowitz of The New Yorker, June 27, 2016:

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trumps-bid-to-become-born-again-fails-as-jesus-turns-down-friend-request?fbclid=IwAR26CNl3b3gS8APf04H3eXW_fdbvTxiO9T5zV7ccAXTzTmnDpstXwiDVxUA