Happy 14th Birthday to My Son!!

Today, my son turns 14.

Hard to believe that it has been almost a decade and a half since he was born, and just a few months shy of the day when his mom informed me that she was pregnant. The calendar assures me that this is the case, even though, frankly, I often times have a hard time believing it myself. 

Surely, I have mentioned just how much of a profound impact his entrance into the world has had on me. There is simply nothing to compare to bringing a new life into this world. It was hard to believe that I was officially a parent on the day when he was born, and it felt like something that would take a lot of time getting used to. Then somehow, without quite realizing it, or recognizing precisely when it had happened, I remember thinking after two weeks that it was hard to imagine my life without him, even though he had just entered it a couple of weeks earlier, officially.

Parenthood changes you, but I think, mostly, for the better. You become responsible for someone else, even if, at first, it is this tiny little person totally dependent on you. Being a parent is both the greatest responsibility, and the greatest privilege, in my life. There really is nothing like it.

Seeing my son grow up, being there for him, sharing both good times and some bad ones, has been just incredible. I can try to describe it, but it is beyond description. 

Suffice to say, though, that I feel tremendously blessed to have helped to bring him into this world, and for all of the times that we have shared together. His presence in my life is irreplacable, and watching him grow is amazing, evoking a strange mixture of emotions: happiness, pride, joy, and a slight tinge of sadness at times, as well. As a parent, you feel mad or sad, and often helpless, when he goes through some problems. You feel joy and pride when he does something great, or when he clearly feels happy about something that he has done or learned or is going through on a positive note.

Through it all, I feel myself changing. Time changes you, of course, and so do experiences. But again, nothing alters who you are, or your perspective on the world and your own role in it, as having a child.

On this day, my son's 14th birthday, I wanted to take a moment to express this appreciation, and to both remember and enjoy some of the times and experiences that we have shared.

Here are some pictures to remember them a little bit better:

A picture of my son with his makeshift Halloween costume yesterday, just before trick or treating. He was an original Star Wars character and deliberately wanted to make it vague, so as to be difficult to tell whether he was a Jedi or a Sith. The weather turned out to be nearly perfect for the trick or treating part of it, and it was all a lot of fun!

Lake George a couple of weekends ago:

Montreal:

Lake Placid:

Europe 2019 Trip

Here are some thoughts and pictures from previous birthday posts for my son:

Recent pics with my son. The above was taken in Liberty, NY, where many members of my family, myself included, used to life. Below, a Halloween picture from just a couple of days ago. Below that, a picture from a signing with Pepper Johnson (former NY Giant great) and another from a visit to Skylands Botanical Garden in Ringwood, NJ.

Today,  my son officially becomes a teenager.

Yikes!

Hard to believe that 13 years have gone by already since that unbelievable day when he entered the world officially. I still recall the first time that I saw him. He was not even fully born yet, but his head had emerged. Within minutes, he was out, and I got to hold him for the first time, before cutting the umbilical cord. 

Later that evening, this time with the entire family just about assembled, he began crying. I believe it was my brother who was holding him, and he gave him to me. For some reason, I began to hum with as deep a voice as I could muster, and my son instantly stopped crying, and opened his eyes, seeming to search for the source of that mysterious noise. He simultaneously reached out with his tiny hands, and I have him my fingers, which he squeezed.

Unbelievable memories that make you realize that you do not know quite the impact that these memories, and their meaning, will have on you. Yet, here we are, 13 years later, and I am still recalling them, vividly and fondly.

I have long said that being a parent, being a father, changed me. It is, at once, simultaneously the greatest privilege, as well as the greatest responsibility, of my life, and I am filled with gratitude for his presence in my life!

Below is an older post from an earlier birthday for my son, with some pictures as well:

My son's class picture for this academic year.

One little side note for this particular day.

You see, on top of everything else, today is my son's birthday.

I had heard all of my life about the "miracle of life". And eight years ago on this day, I was not only witness to the birth of new life, but also, that new life was from me! My own flesh and blood, a new generation for my family was created right there!

It was a miracle, on so many levels.

Funny thing - it took me quite a while to believe it. The reality of it, and the enormous implications associated with having a child, eluded me for quite a while. All throughout the pregnancy, and even maybe a couple of days after he was born, for that matter. The first two or three days, he had to remain in the hospital, and so I had to drive to the hospital to see him. It all seemed a bit distant still, and hard to grasp.

But that changed. I cannot say when, precisely. I remember the first time we took him out of the hospital, and hooked him up to the baby seat in the car. He fell asleep very quickly, of course. Nothing seems to systematically get babies to sleep like car rides. Not sure when it happened, but maybe within a week or two after he came home with us, I realized that it was hard to even remember what life had been like before he was born. I know that must sound...well, I don't know what it sounds like. But it was true. It was hard to imagine what life had even been like before he was born, even though he himself was only a couple of weeks old or so by then. It's just one of those things, you know?

And through a span of eight years - not always easy times, of course, - I still feel very thankful for his presence in my life, and for my roll as a father. He means the world to me, and I make sure to remind him of that every time that I see him. The one thing that I never want to make him feel like is unwelcome, or unappreciated, because his presence measures beyond any poor attempts at words here for me to express!

He just keeps on getting bigger, and somehow, predictably, I grow sadder watching him outgrow things. When he stops playing with some of the toys for very young children, or stops watching shows for the very young children, or says that he's "too old" or "too big" for certain things.

Yet, that too is only part of the story. I take joy in watching him grow older, in growing smarter and more world savvy. Plus, he is still just a kid, with plenty of time yet (for now) before he gets a taste of what adult life really is like. He is fixated on being bigger, on growing older, and closer to adulthood, and all of the respect and freedom that he associates with it.

Of course, that is the way that kids see adulthood. Once you reach it, you realize that it is a lot more than that. The privileges that come with that extra responsibility wear out fast, and the pitfalls begin to dominate after a certain amount of time. When you begin to understand that what most people value you for is the money and/or services, as well as other benefits, that you can provide, then any romanticized notion of "adulthood" goes out the window, and it is too often replaced with stress, fatigue, and acceptance of a far less glamorous and idyllic aspect of real adulthood.

Still, growing up, and growing older, is inevitable, and as a parent, it is your duty to prepare that child, and any children, really, for adulthood. It is not always a pleasant aspect, and often requires the heavy hand of discipline. A part of that, increasingly a lost art among adults who want to indulge children and "buy" their acceptance, is simply to say "no" every once in a while.

This I try to do, but not cruelly. I discipline my son, but try always to remain within reason in so doing, and never do I take pleasure or derive some false sense of power when doing that.

But life is tough, and preparing a young person for such a life takes a lot of doing. Any parent would say the same thing, I think.

Yet, it is important to remember the more fun aspects of growing up. And my son is, after all, still a child. Growing up, getting bigger, absolutely. But still just a child, with a child's enthusiasm for a birthday, for growing older, getting bigger, etc. He was very excited, and justifiably so, to have a birthday party, and to get really cool presents, and all of that. And as a child, that is for him to enjoy right now. The responsibilities and sober approach are there, but they can wait a little while, at least for this day. Because today is his birthday, and he should be able to be a kid, and do what kids do better than anyone else: just have fun!!

He chose Chuck E. Cheese to have a party at for last evening, and it seemed like a good and appropriate idea to share those pictures here: