Wednesday, December 24, 2025

Book Review: The Secret History of Christmas by Bill Bryson

    



So this book intrigued me for several reasons. First of all, it is from Bill Bryson, one of my favorite authors. I have yet to have read a bad book from him, or one that failed to make me laugh because of his trademark sense of humor. Then, it is about the history of Christmas, a subject which has come to fascinate me more and more the older I have gotten. 

This came out just a few years ago. And I had wanted to obtain and read it since I first heard about it. For some reason, I got serious about it this past autumn, purchasing the apparently last remaining copy on Amazon. After that, it was a matter of listening, which I did in the car. This book is only available in audiobook format.

I can hardly think of anyone more qualified to write a book about the history of Christmas like this one than Bill Bryson. Yes, he has a writing style that is funny. Almost anyone who has read his books enjoys that aspect about it. Yet, he also often does some serious research, and that, too, is in evidence with this one. It is not a long book. Not sure how long it was overall, maybe three hours and change or so. As it turns out, I read it through a few times, beginning with the first read sometime in late October into early November. Learning some things about Christmas that I had absolutely never known before, nor would likely have ever discovered without reading this book. 

Before I go any farther, however, let me give the usual warnings to stop reading if you intend to read this book, because there will be spoilers ahead.

SPOILER ALERT

SPOILER ALERT

SPOILER ALERT


Okay, so by now if you are still reading this, I have to imagine that you either are familiar with this story already, or perhaps you do not mind the spoilers. Please just don't say that you were not given advanced warning. 

This is a subject which I never thought about, admittedly, when Christmas simply felt like a magical holiday, back when I was a kid. At that point, it felt almost enchanted. Santa Claus, getting gifts (that is the most magical part when you are a kid) and time off from school. All of those songs, known as carols. Certain foods and drinks that you hardly if ever see any other time of the year, much like the music. This might seem funny, but it was only as an adult that I actually began to wonder about how this Christmas holiday came to become the now global cultural phenomenon it has become. They even celebrate it in other countries that are not traditionally Christian nations.

For example, I was not aware that in Japan, there is a Christmas tradition of getting special prepared Christmas meals from Kentucky Fried Chicken, of all places. Having lived in the United States for most of my life, KFC is just about the last place that I would personally have associated with Christmas. Yet through some bizarre circumstances, it is one of the popular traditions in Japan which, i hardly need mention, is not a traditional Christian country. There is also a tradition of young couples going out for dinner in Japan on Christmas. However, it seems clear that they do not get everything about this holiday, as one display in a store window apparently showed Santa Claus being crucified in a festive kind of a way.

Ho-ho-ho.

The origins of the holiday that has come to be known as Christmas had roots in pre-Christian festivals, particularly Saturnalia and Yule. The Roman Saturnalia in particular was influential, as it was a time of loosening of morals for the duration of this holiday season, which lasted days. Slaves were allowed some leniency, even to the point of poking fun at their masters. Both men and woman wore clothing which was more revealing than usual, and this was strictly for the Saturnalia festivities. Saturnalia was a festive time and had plants decorating homes, all of which indeed seems like an early influence for our modern Christmas.

Now, Bryson points out that while many people these days complain about how Christmas traditions have changed, this is actually nothing new. As far back as the year 389, after only one generation had passed since the first records of Christmas being celebrated on any level, the Bishop of Constantinople complained that people had lost sight of the meaning behind the day. In his view, there was simply too much dancing and merriment, and he lamented how so many people seemed to have lost sight of the holy aspects of the holiday or, rather, at the time, the Holy Day.

Of course, that was not the only time that Christmas was attacked, or that people tried to stifle the celebration or even recognition of the day as any sort of "holy Day." But I am not referring to modern whiners who claim that people saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" signifies some kind of a "war on Christmas." In fact, the history might be a little bit more surprising for many than what most might think.

Puritans in England hated the holiday and were determined to get rid of it. In fact, they largely succeeded, at least for a while. Christmas was officially banned in England from 1643 until 1660. Puritans in the American colonies also tried to stomp out Christmas and, in some ways, went to even more extreme measures. Any signs of so much as joviality were clamped down on, and officially, a penalty of 5 pounds to anyone caught celebrating the holiday. That said, there is no record of anyone actually having been forced to pay this fine. Apparently, what you did behind closed curtains was still your own private business. 

Nor was the ban of Christmas relegated to England. Here in the United States, specifically in the Massachusetts Bay Colony, Christmas was banned from 1659 until 1681 by Puritans. They viewed it as a debauched holiday where people engaged too freely in what the Puritans viewed as a sinful manner. Authorities there actively clamped down on any outward signs of people celebrating Christmas. In fact, as it turns out, that was how some witches were caught, singing Christmas carols. Talk about a "war on Christmas," eh? Those who complain about that being the case these days should study their history a little more closely, and see who was actually waging that war against Christmas, and what their rationale for doing so actually was. 

All of this had largely derailed what had been traditional Christmas celebrations. Prior to all of this, Christmas was celebrated over the span of 12 days (hence, the "12 Days of Christmas"), until the Three Kings and the Epiphany, when the Baby Jesus was revealed to be the Son of God. This traditionally went until January 6th. Speaking of which, Bryson makes clear that the "Three Kings" was rather a later embellishment. There is nothing in the Bible indicating that there were kings, or even that they were three in number. The Bible states that there were Magi who came twelve days after the birth bearing three gifts. But nowhere does it state that they were three in number, nor that they were kings. 'Magi" simply meant "wise men" or religious figures. It only came to be interpreted in the West that this meant three kings, but it is not necessarily so.

The Puritans noticed all of this, as they also noticed that nowhere in the Bible is the actual date when Jesus was born even mentioned. In fact, it seems unlikely that they would have traveled from Nazareth to Bethlehem, or stayed at a manger, at least during the wintertime. The Puritans were not necessarily wrong in terms of identifying the problem with the lack of facts and Biblical documentation in this regard. Bryson also notes some other inconsistencies with the Bible. For example, the only books which mention the birth of Jesus are from Luke and Matthew, and there are inconsistencies there, as well. That includes the persecution of babies by King Herod, who of course was allegedly attempting to find the Baby Jesus to kill him before he could pose a threat to Herod's rule.

What the Puritan ban did have was a permanent alteration of Christmas. So gone was the celebration of the "Twelve Days of Christmas." In fact, a lot of Christmas traditions were lost. Many English people had largely forgotten the meaning and many of the older traditions from the late 1600's until, as it turns out, the mid-19th century. It was at this time that some major things occurred that served not only to revive Christmas, but to redefine it in the popular culture completely.

Modern Christmas was largely invented in 1843 - on December 19, 1843, to be precise - with the publication of "A Christmas Carol" by noted English novelist Charles Dickens. Much of what we would identify as modern Christmas traditions came from this work, at a time when Christmas traditions had begun to be forgotten. 

Strangely enough, Dickens himself had crossed the Atlantic and met one of his heroes, Washington Irving. Irving had written a highly influential work, A History of New York Book. It was from this book we got much of the mythology regarding the history of New York City during the days when it was still a Dutch colony, when it was called New Amsterdam. Most of the actual historical records from this period in the city's history had simply vanished, whether lost or destroyed or whatever else may have happened. So Irving wrote this book, under the pseudonym Diedrich Knickerbocker, to try to fill in the blanks. Just as an aside, this is the source of the name for New York's basketball team, the Knicks for short. Also, the colors for the basketball team, which are royal blue, white, and orange, derive from the colors of New York City, and those colors originally derive from that largely lost era in history when it was a Dutch colony. At the time, the colors of the Dutch settlers were royal blue, white, and orange. 

The only real problem with this book, as Bryson notes, is that the book is entirely inaccurate. Much of the history is simply the result of Irving's imagination. 

So now you know.

Bryson mentioned some other Christmas traditions, as well. Christmas cards were largely invented in December 1843, during the same month when Charles Dickens published the story which would, in some sense, redefine and even create our modern Christmas. Also, how there is a bit of ambiguity as to why candy canes are shaped they way that they are. There is a theory that it was to resemble the staffs of bishops, although it could just be that with this shape, they fit nicely on Christmas trees.

One of the major themes was how St. Nicholas of Myra, an actual historical figure from what is modern day Turkey, and at the time was part of the Roman Empire in the eastern part, came to become the inspiration, if you will, of our modern societal notions of Jolly Old Saint Nick. The actual St. Nicholas spoke Greek, and was a very devout Christian, at a time when practicing that faith was truly dangerous. There are stories regarding Nicholas, that he gave one man who had lost his wealth and wanted to avoid selling his daughters into prostitution bags of gold coins in order to avoid that fate. Also, there is another story of three boys having been killed and about to be pickled and served as meat before Nicholas learned of the evil plot and brought these boys back to life.

The real St. Nicholas was a tall and thin man, and very devout. He took his faith very seriously, and there is a legend that he rose to his feet and then prayed just one week after his birth. He was known for his generosity, and the tradition of having given people things which they needed morphed, in time, to him becoming known as a gift giver. He died in the month of December, which is how he came to be associated with Christmas, which might have looked very different had it been centered around another saintly figure, one not known for giving gifts. It is interesting to imagine how different the holiday might have been with some other saint being associated with it, as opposed to the "bearer of gifts" Nicholas.

Still, it makes you wonder how a thin and rather severe figure from ancient Asia Minor during the days of the Roman Empire like the actual Saint Nicholas was transformed, over time, into our modern Santa Claus. Remember that one of the things which the Puritans objected to was the veneration of saints, which protestants wanted to be rid of. Yet, this largely misunderstood saint eventually was indeed transformed beyond recognition. It happened slowly over a great deal of time. 

Early depictions were form Germany, where other traditions came from. The German Christkindle eventually became Chris Kringle by English-speakers who mangled the original name. There were other early depictions, such as  Old Man Winter who, in time, became Old Man Christmas. However, images of these men were hardly warm or endearing. Often, they were portrayed as understandably rough, woodsmen who could endure harsh winters without much problem. For that man to become something much friendlier to our modern sense required a long process.

The first modern image of "Saint Nick, who became our modern Santa Claus, came from American cartoonist Thomas Nast. They were done in black and white, and there were no color portrayals of this version of Santa Claus from Nast. Still, Nash's version of Santa became the inspiration for almost all modern images of Santa Claus. Nash was also the same guy who gave the Republican and Democratic party their symbols, the elephant and the donkey.

However, while Nast gave us the first true impressions of the jolly fat guy we are all familiar with these days, his pictures were not in color. Thus, all that was known was that Santa had a dark suit. It was through a series of advertisements by Coca-Cola in the 1930's that he got his now distinctive red suit, which of course matched the color of the Coca-Cola brand. In a sense, his red suit is an advertisement of Coca-Cola. This seems fittingly symbolic, in a sense, given how commercialized Christmas (and Santa along with it) have become since. Also, how fixated our society had become with sweets.

There are other Christmas traditions, as well, which Bryson addresses. The Christmas tree originated from Germany. Indeed, even Charles Dickens, as late as the 1850's, referred to what we now know as Christmas trees as a "German toy." There is a legend that this tradition began with Martin Luther, who walked through dark woods and saw the lights of the stars through the branches of trees, and felt inspired to try to recreate this beautiful scene by bringing a tree inside and decorating it with candles. There is no way to know whether there is any truth to this legend, although the first trees were originally hung upside down. So these traditions have changed over time. 

At first, electric Christmas lights were prohibitively expensive, as were other tree decorations, such as early versions of tinsel. These were made of strips of silver, and were too expensive for most people. As for lights, they also were deemed too dangerous early on. It was only over time that they became more affordable and were made a bit safer, although they still have a reputation for being potentially dangerous and possible fire hazards.

There are plenty of other fascinating tidbits and such which you learn about when reading this book. For example, it was the son of Benjamin Moore (bishop) fifth President Columbia and Holy Communion, who famously gave the last rights to a dying Alexander Hamilton, who came up with one of the most iconic Christmas poems. His son, Clement Clarke Moore, was the author of the Christmas poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas", which first named each of Santa Claus's reindeer.

Anyway, I cannot get into everything that I learned, and which Bryson talks about, in this book. If you are interested in learning more about how Christmas came to become the modern holiday that it has become in our modern culture, this is one of the books to turn to, if you can obtain a copy. There are copies of the audiobook available for very cheap on Amazon, and you can download it instantly, as I understand it. If you want to learn more about Christmas, I definitely recommend this book as a prime source, if you can.





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